Going by the book.

The people that know me, are acutely aware of my tendency to do everything as near possible by the book. I've always believed that if you do things by the book, eventually things should work out in your favour.

What a load of bollocks that turned out to be.

It seems these days that people would rather lie, steal and cheat their way into getting what they want.

It seems these days that people are no longer the people that God intended. (Yes, I'm quoting religion, despite the fact I don't really believe in it.)

It's also occurred to me that life is only fair on some people, and grossly unfair on everyone else.

Some people will have opportunities snatched from their grasp by someone who weaselled their way in.

Others will get what they want, when they want.

And then there are those who get two bites of the cherry, when others have never even gotten anywhere near that cherry.

As a child, you're brought up to believe that you can conquer the world, that one can pursue the hopes and dreams, and that '"the world is your oyster".

But I'm afraid that too, is a load of bollocks.

You can dream, and you can plan, but it actually happening? Well, you better take a seat 'cos you'll be waiting a long time.

It is getting harder, and harder to do things by the book. Everyday is a constant battle to for those of us who do things by the book.

You constantly question yourself as to why everything works out for them, but never for you. You question whether or not it's worth playing by the rules.

And then you start to question whether or not you've wasted all those years doing things within the boundaries, when everyone else is dancing on those boundaries.

You can't fight against life when the fight isn't fair game to begin with.

Going by the book... what a load of bollocks.

Back to Reality

I have returned to uni.
Over the summer I did a lot of thinking. And made a lot of changes.
I still hate my job, though I got a promotion.
I changed my degree to something I like, and so far so good.
I've been going to the gym six days a week. Bought a car. Volunteering at a high school.

It doesn't mean that everything is perfect and everyone lives happily ever after. I got robbed today.

The challenge seems to be keeping up and still fighting when it hurts or you don't want to.