Throwing in the towel.

There's always a time where one thinks to themselves, 'is what I'm holding out for, really worth it?'.

I find myself asking this question.

For the last five years, I've been holding onto a dream. One which I always thought would somehow eventuate into reality.

Problem is, after five years, time begins to take a toll on your hopes and other pressures begin getting to you, adding to your overall weariness to the possible achievement of that particular dream.

In the last five years, there have been several set backs. Many of which had fairly damaging effects. But none-the-less, I've pushed though.

Until now.

Maybe it's time to hang up the phone, and dial a new number.

But with an uncertain future, I hesitate at making that decision.

It has been a while.

I feel like I'm going through the whole teenage rebellion thing a tad late. I'm fighting with my parents all the time, meaning I rarely come home. I am responsible for myself and want more freedom than they can give me. I can't afford moving out though, and I don't think I'd want to leave on this note.

Some days I really wish I was someone else.

I don't care about acceptance. I just want to be me.

Kind of ironic given that we all use stage names on here.

There is my teen angst. At 19.5 years old. May as well live it out for the next six months when it becomes inexcusable.

Giving up

This week has probably been one of the worst in a long time (and it's not even over yet).
I'm having family issues. My calisthenics team dissolved. My employees treat me like dirt. I haven't seen my friends in probably three weeks since I'm working 20 hours a week at least to try and support myself.

I don't want sympathy.

I just don't know how to come back out on top.

I'm so angry and upset and hurt that it forms some kind of cloud over my chest, and whenever I try to verbalise it, it becomes an incomprehensible gibberish mess. I think this is a remnant of abuse- I generally refuse to get angry, so when I do it mixes with everything else.

That's okay. I can deal with that.

I just don't understand why all these shitty things keep happening. In the mornings I wonder what hell awaits me and contemplate staying in bed. I can't help but think the problem is me, even though mostly it isn't.

How do you pick yourself up and dust yourself off again when it seems too much?

Sometimes I wish I was someone else. Or just somewhere else.

Sorry for the depressing topic. The high had to end sometime.

Going by the book.

The people that know me, are acutely aware of my tendency to do everything as near possible by the book. I've always believed that if you do things by the book, eventually things should work out in your favour.

What a load of bollocks that turned out to be.

It seems these days that people would rather lie, steal and cheat their way into getting what they want.

It seems these days that people are no longer the people that God intended. (Yes, I'm quoting religion, despite the fact I don't really believe in it.)

It's also occurred to me that life is only fair on some people, and grossly unfair on everyone else.

Some people will have opportunities snatched from their grasp by someone who weaselled their way in.

Others will get what they want, when they want.

And then there are those who get two bites of the cherry, when others have never even gotten anywhere near that cherry.

As a child, you're brought up to believe that you can conquer the world, that one can pursue the hopes and dreams, and that '"the world is your oyster".

But I'm afraid that too, is a load of bollocks.

You can dream, and you can plan, but it actually happening? Well, you better take a seat 'cos you'll be waiting a long time.

It is getting harder, and harder to do things by the book. Everyday is a constant battle to for those of us who do things by the book.

You constantly question yourself as to why everything works out for them, but never for you. You question whether or not it's worth playing by the rules.

And then you start to question whether or not you've wasted all those years doing things within the boundaries, when everyone else is dancing on those boundaries.

You can't fight against life when the fight isn't fair game to begin with.

Going by the book... what a load of bollocks.

Back to Reality

I have returned to uni.
Over the summer I did a lot of thinking. And made a lot of changes.
I still hate my job, though I got a promotion.
I changed my degree to something I like, and so far so good.
I've been going to the gym six days a week. Bought a car. Volunteering at a high school.

It doesn't mean that everything is perfect and everyone lives happily ever after. I got robbed today.

The challenge seems to be keeping up and still fighting when it hurts or you don't want to.

Power Point: Action.

So, it's Saturday night. And I'm here writing on a blog that no-one would probably read.

Despite that, this is the most action I've had this evening. Yes, I know how that reads, but I don't intend it in that way.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I'm relatively bored with my life right now. Work has become mundane, yet if I don't go, I risk losing my job all together. A side effect of working for a business that is barely hanging on.

I remarked in a previous post that a new year didn't always mean a new beginning. I still stand by that statement, but things do need a bit of a shake up. As time goes by, there are things that change, and there are things that remain constant. Life shouldn't remain constant. Life should be about change.

Actually, life should be about action.

Without action, we're standing still. Action is the one thing that keeps us moving and in check. If you want to make a move into a new venture, a new job, a new relationship, it requires action. Remaining constant does have it's benefits. Security is one, as you know what can happen and what will happen. But it lacks the spontaneousness of the moment. It lacks the action.

We go to the cricket or football to see the action right there in front of us. The unpredictably of each match is what gives way to the phrase 'being in the thick of the action'.

The time is right for action.

The only question now is how to make that action happen.

Queensland Flood Emergency.

The SUBURBANtermini team would like to extend their deepest sympathies to all those affected in the devastating floods sweeping through Queensland.

It is terrible events such as this which bring out the best in Australians. The teams on the front line continue to do an excellent job and we've seen neighbours and strangers alike assist where possible. As a team we commend these men and women.

It is the Australian way to band together and help their fellow man.

From the team at SUBURBANtermini, we wish all Queenslanders the very best and that our thoughts are with them during this time of need.

Kind regards,
SUBURBANtermini Admin.

New Years' Resolutions Are Bullshit

Some people think that a new year provides them with a fresh start.
These people also tend to think that because a new year begins, last year's problems will all fade away.

These people are wrong.

Long term goals are good.
New Year's Resolutions are silly.

The same problems you had last year will still be here until you resolve them. Own your issues and fix them yourself. It's the only way you'll become a better person.

Merry Christmas from the team.

The SUBURBANtermini team would like to extend a warm and hearty Merry Christmas and wish you all a safe and happy New Year.

If you do wake up on December 25th to find that your television and DVD player has disappeared, please call the police.

From all of us here, have a Merry Christmas. We look forward to an exciting year ahead.

Kind regards,
SUBURBANtermini Admin.

BING! Looking Forward To A New Year.

For me, I am very much looking forward to the new year.

This year has filled me with some regrets which I hope in the new year I can finally forget.

The many goals I had set for 2010, had not been fully met; in 2011, I shall aim to fulfill the rest of my 2010 goals and new ones for 2011.

As my fellow authors have stated in their previous posts, around this time of the year, it is time for self reflection.

Despite the negatives of 2010, there have been many positives - meeting new friends and acquaintances, starting a new chapter of my life: university, getting a job and many others.

I am thankful for 2010, but regardless I cannot wait for 2011, where I can have another fresh start and hopefully, this time next year; I will be saying "I cannot believe 2011 went so quick" instead of "I cannot wait for 2012, so I can get another fresh start"

Bing here, signing off.

Power Point: A Year in Review.

2010 has been a very eventful year.

This year has been more significant than any other in my relatively short history. It's also been a rather challenging year. The transition from secondary to tertiary education proved to be a greater leap forward compared to when seen on the application forms; and as a result, it's been a rather humbling experience.

Academia aside, this year hasn't been a walk in the park. In fact, it's been far from it.

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that this year has been a year of change. But whether that change was been coupled with progress, well then that's another matter.

Quite frankly, this year has been a rather terrible one. A shit one in fact. And it's been a rather tiring experience. After 12 months of having to deal with everything that 2010 has thrown at me, I am officially exhausted and well and truly over it.

Many say that the dawn on a new year also represents a clean slate for us to begin again and leave behind the mistakes of the past. Whilst it's a nice image, I don't buy it for a second. Despite this year being a relatively important turning point, similar mistakes were made in almost identical circumstances as to errors made in years gone-by. And having these things occur for a second time in similar circumstances really takes it's toll.

There are many things beyond my control which probably contributed to this errors; but I also know that there is also been an element of self-sabotage through insecurity and neuroticism. I like to think that people see Max Power is seen as someone who remains headstrong and confident, someone who is comfortable with the situation surrounding him. And I am aware that it does sound rather arrogant of myself to say that.

My colleague Vittoria brought up a very relevant issue in her last entry.
"Am I where I want to be?
Where am I going?
Do I need to change my direction?

I think self reflection is important to remain balanced. The only trouble is that I don't know the answers to those questions."

I find myself in that same boat. I don't have any answers to either of those questions and I find myself wondering.

As a child, we have hopes and dreams. As teens we refine those hopes and dreams, and begin to establish goals. But once we leave the school yard, the idea behind easily achieving those goals disappears and you're left wondering what went wrong.

It's been a tumultuous year. There were of course, good days and bad, as well as many in between.

I only hope that by the end of 2011, I'll have come up with some sort of answers to Vittoria's questions.

Reflection

So I failed two subjects this semester. Not one, but two. One of which I thought I was good at.

I don't know if you, dear reader, has any wisdom.

It isn't the end of the world, but it does feel pretty shitty at first.

Am I where I want to be?
Where am I going?
Do I need to change my direction?

I think self reflection is important to remain balanced. The only trouble is that I don't know the answers to those questions.

So here's to the wandering, lost people, who don't know where they're headed or how fast they're going. To those who want to be so much more, but can't choose just one thing to be. To those who can't imagine the future. And to those who trust that they can work it all out in time.

Power Point: The Individual.

So, university results come out in less than 24 hours, and I'm not looking all that forward to receiving them.

Chances are that I failed at least one subject. And as you can imagine, I'm not looking forward to the criticisms from those around me regarding my failure to pass a subject.

I'm sure that there are other people out there who are in the same boat as I am right now, or have been in the past.

But ultimately, as individuals, it's not those who criticise us to whom we must answer to. Nor is it those who are in charge of us - our bosses, lecturers, teachers, and other figures.

It all comes down to us. I don't have to answer to those above me, those around me, or others who think it's their business. And nor do I take on board what they say. Right now, it's my decision regarding my next course of action and how to deal with the situation I've find myself.

Yes, maybe I didn't spend enough time on those particular areas as I should have. And maybe there was significant space for improvement. But despite that, you cannot dwell on the past. It's happened and it's not coming back.

Come tomorrow, it'll be as though the apocalypse has arrived and the sky is falling down.

I may end up bearing the brunt of a full-on episode of criticism, but Max Power doesn't let it take him down.

It's about confidence.

The confidence to accept that you have failed and the circumstances as to why that has happened. The confidence to rise up to the challenge after hitting a hurdle and have a second crack. The confidence to remain headstrong and continue forth without the heavy words of critics bring you down.

Because at the end of the day, it's not the critics who have to deal with the position they've found themselves in.

It's up to the individual.

BING! You want cheese with that?

Obesity – It’s a global epidemic.

There are more than 7 billion people in the world, and over 1 billion people are considered to be overweight. Within that 1 billion, 300 million are obese. That is astounding.

That means that 1 out of 7 people are overweight.

1 out of 7.

While 3 out of 70 people are obese; it’s absolutely appalling. And we, as the world, must change these staggering figures.

Obesity in ancient times were accepted as a cultural norm where it was a sign of wealth, fertility and power, however as time and society progressed it is now viewed that obesity is a sign of unhealthy ness, infertility along with many health defects.

The World Health Organisation defines obesity as a condition in which excess body fat has accumulated to an extent that health may be negatively affected. Obesity is considered to be one of the leading preventable causes of death, with increasing rates of childhood and adult obesity, health authorities are viewing obesity as one of the most serious health problems of the 21^st century.

Physical inactivity is a major contributor to obesity due to the increase of motorised transport, greater prevalence of labour saving technology as well as the decrease in desire for physical recreation. The number of fast-food outlets has allowed the obesity crisis to worsen due to the non-nutrition value of its food, with its high fat, high sugar, high salt contents, in addition to the inexpensive value and the sheer size of the meals itself. The fast food industry cannot bear the complete brunt of this epidemic, as it is not responsible for what its customers do to reduce the amount of energy supplied from their foods. Consequently this excess energy not being utilised due to inactivity, the energy is converted into fat and stored.

Many health problems arise from obesity which range from psychological to physical even to emotional. Obviously those who are obese are susceptible to heart diseases, such as stroke, irregular heartbeat, high blood pressure and cholesterol levels. Evidence has shown that obese people are prone to suffer from depression, erectile dysfunction, infertility, diabetes as well as increased chances of cancer and tumours.

Even here in Australia, we are being affected by this epidemic. Australia was recently given the non-coveted title of “world’s fattest nation”. Australians are known as the “shrimp on the barbie” people; do we honestly want to be collectively known as the “world’s fattest nation”?

Despite a relatively small population when compared to other developed western nations, Australia has a higher percentage of overweight people per capita. It is literally shocking that over 9 million people are classified as overweight or obese when Australia’s population is around the 21 million. That means on average 3 out of 7 Australians are either overweight or obese.

We, as Australians must rid our reputations as the “world’s fattest nation” and if we are to do this, we must join together and face this problem head on. Firstly, awareness must be raised. We must show everyone that obesity is not something to be proud.

To do this, we must endorse national campaigns which support healthy eating, regular exercise and less consumption of non-nutritional foods. Educating people on the implications of obesity and how to avoid it is an absolute necessity. In fact, it’s this obesity crisis is a national emergency.

The Rudd Government in conjunction with many health organisations have thought up many ideas which could assist in the fight against obesity. The Rudd Government has proposed a crackdown on the sales of junk foods, banning junk food advertisements, banning the sales of sugary drinks and foods in schools as well as a national initiative to encourage people to exercise particularly children.

Obesity prevention groups have applauded the Government’s actions but have stated more has to done. Groups have proposed radical ideas such as taxation on the sales of junk foods based upon the BMI of individual, subsidised gym memberships, restricting weight loss surgery to those who have shown that they have achieved some form of weight loss. One obesity prevention group has even suggested employing a “Biggest Loser” scheme on a national scale in which individuals compete for a cash payment in accordance to the amount of weight lost.

According to the WHO, since the 1980’s there has been a significant increase in the number of overweight children and adolescents. The amount of overweight children has doubled while overweight adolescents have tripled. This can be contributed to the technological advances such as computers, televisions and video games.

So maybe it's time we got off our lazy, fat arses and did something about it.

Power Point: Frequent Flyer Farce.

I recently became a member of the Woolworths Everyday Rewards program which is linked to the Qantas Frequent Flyer scheme.

At the time I thought it was a great idea. I can shop at Woolies and their affiliates and earn points so I can fly around Australia should I feel the need.

But all that changed about 10 minutes ago (10 minutes ago when I started writing this).

After the usual sequence of terms and conditions and detail filling, I immediately checked how many points it took to claim a return-trip to Sydney, ex. Melbourne Tullamarine.

The results weren't in Qantas' favour.

It takes a whopping 16,000 points to claim a return trip to Sydney. And that doesn't include accommodation.

16,000 POINTS?!?!?! YOU'RE KIDDING RIGHT?!?!?!

Going off the Woolworths Everyday Rewards/Qantas Frequent Flyer scheme, you earn one point for every dollar spent over $30 at any Woolworths branch. So, in theory, I'm spending $16,000 for a trip that usually costs $120 or less for an economy ticket purchased online.

Yes, that $16,000 also includes to the cost of the milk and eggs purchased in earning those points, but 16,000 points seems excessive. Surely it doesn't take $16,000 worth of milk and eggs to earn a return trip to Sydney.

Browsing through the latest issue of Qantas' Frequent Flyer 'Reward' (they must have a different definition of rewards) catalogue, humble Nintendo Wii accessories cost 6,300 points. A $100 BIG W gift card requires 13,500 points.

Who designed the point scheme? 13,500 points for a gift card only worth $100, that's just absurd.

I understand the need for Qantas and their 'rewards' partners to have slightly inflated costs for the products available, but this is 16,000 points to claim an airfare worth approximately $120 with Qantas or Jetstar is just too much.

It gets worse though.

Even the amount of points earned through the purchase of international flights is minuscule. A return trip from Melbourne to Singapore earns you 7,498 points. Now, the flight does cost upwards from $1400, but 7,498 doesn't even cover the points required for a one-way journey to Sydney.

Now, I know there's been a lot of Qantas bashing lately in the newspapers thanks to their recent troubles with their Airbus A380s and other aircraft, but this post is by no means an attack on Qantas.

I firmly believe Qantas is one of the best airlines in the world in both service and safety, but the amount of points required for something of such low monetary value (in terms of other things in the catalogue) is just outrageous.

I'm sure that Qantas isn't the only airline that does this, and there are probably many more in the industry that do the exact same thing.

But 16,000 points for a trip to Sydney and back? For the $16,000 I need to spend to get those points, I'd be better off buying a relatively cheap new car (a Kia Rio costs $11,000 for the base model), filling it up with petrol and driving to Sydney and back.

And even then I'd still have a lot more left over for accommodation and spending cash.

And a car.

The Upcoming Election

I'm at a point where I just don't care about the political parties any more.
Currently I'm confined to bed with a chest infection and as a result have been exposed to all the political ads on the television telling us not why we should vote for a specific party, but why we shouldn't vote for them. And frankly, I'm over it.

How about the politicians give us something more than talk to vote for?

But I know this won't happen. The process of change is obviously more complex than I imagine it to be, and any 'honest' politician that managed to gain some publicity will be annihilated like Kevin Rudd.

I'm at the point where I don't want to vote for anyone. But that doesn't help either.

I don't have a solution to this one. I'm starting to realise that the older I get, the more I learn, and the less I know.

Introducing BING!

As part of SUBURBANtermini's refresh, we promised more funding, improved punctuality and service delivery, more staff in more places, better standards of customer service and higher levels of cleanliness.

Oh wait, that's the wrong political spin notes I'm using.

Anyway, unlike politicans, we are delivering on our promises, and we welcome the first of these new authors to the SUBURBANtermini team, Ian Bing.

Ian is a welcome addition to the team bringing with him a world of worldly knowledge and other such qualities that we believe will become an asset to SUBURBANtermini.

Ian's new column, "BING!" will be a regular feature here and we look forward to reading his works in the near future.

If it matter's to Ian, it'll be here.

Thanks.
SUBURBANtermini Admin.

Time, Change and Memory.

After reviewing SUBURBANtermini's recent brand refresh, I've been thinking a lot about change, the feeling of time, and memories.

It seems these days that things don't remain constant for too long. Taking SUBURBANtermini as an example, after only being on the internet for less than 12 months, the branding, layout and colour schemes of the site looked rather tired and dated. I sometimes wonder whether constant change is a good thing, usually siding with the idea that change is occurring much too rapidly and is having a negative affect.

I don't know if other people have noticed this either, but it seems that the year has absolutely flown by. It seems only yesterday that I was sitting my final examinations for Year 12.

It sort of came to a head a fortnight ago when I dropped in at my old high school after picking up package. One of my former teachers wished me luck for the VCE English exam taking place the following morning. I was quick to point out that I was no longer an attending student and it quickly became a conversation about my last twelve months since leaving the school.

And that's what's made the feeling of time passing quickly seems so much more real. In the last twelve months, I've left high school and begun University; started driving; gone and come back from overseas; seen colours change on the trams and trains (yes, I have to mention it); countless assessments and deadlines; joined the team at SUBURBANtermini; and most importantly, started working. And that's only some of the stuff I've seen or experienced within this last year.

It just seems that time have accelerated so quickly, it's hard to keep track of everything that's occurred, let alone when it happened. I'm often left when particular events actually happened. The other week, I was looking over some old newspapers articles and remembering the events behind the article as if it took place the day before. Only after I finished reading I noticed that the article was from February 2002.

Since leaving secondary school, I'm only just beginning to recount the amount of memories I've accumulated, with particular emphasis on the last three years.

Countless trips on the train with those whom I hold dear, the times we skipped school, going out during days off. There's just so much that's been crammed into those three years. And I wonder sometimes, has it really been three years?

Memory is a funny thing. It can be your best friend one day, and be a bitter reminder of darker days. The last three years have been somewhat the best of my relatively short life. The memories of the darker years still linger in the background, and every so often  I'm haunted by those memories.

Yet, a single memory is enough to wipe your mind clear of any sadness, anger or other negative emotion and replace it with those of mental images happier times and positive feelings.

A single memory is enough for you to make a change in direction - start anew. Something which I have picked up on and put into action.

I'm no longer the same person I was several years ago. And as time flies by, and the memories accumulate, maybe change isn't that bad.

- Max Power.

Welcome to the fresh SUBURBANtermini

Welcome to the new look SUBURBANtermini.

Despite this blog being relatively new on the blogging block, it was decided that a brand refresh was in order.

With this brand refresh is a sweep of rolling changes.

Most importantly is the introduction of new authors to SUBURBANtermini. These new authors will be announced shorting, so watch this space.

Sadly, we have let 'Clarkson' go. We feel that the removal of 'Clarkson' was necessary step in trying to move forward with the blog and create a new feel.

Vittoria Vetra and Max Power are still on staff and as mentioned earlier, we'll be announcing new staff shortly.

We'd like to thank our only reader at this stage, Damacus, for bearing with us. We thank you for your patience.

So, welcome to the new look SUBURBANtermini.

If it matters to us, it'll be here.

Thanks.
SUBURBANtermini Admin.

Power Point: Air-conditioning is for the weak.

I recently read something on a social networking site which made me rather cross.

Person X: 'had an awesome trip home riding in the stuffy, smelly, squishy, aircon-lacking tin can of a train >_>"'

Despite my obvious bias towards Melbourne's train system, I am sure that the general public would rather travel on a non-air conditioned train and get to where they want to be on time, than have to wait out in the sun on a platform for the next train because the previous one was cancelled for whatever reason.

This brings me to the Hitachi fleet. Affectionately known as the Silvers when they first entered service, these trains have served the people of Melbourne for more than thirty years. Compared to their younger counterparts, these trains lack the features which apparently are necessary in operating a railway, such as CCTV, emergency intercoms and most importantly according to commuters, air conditioning.

 The ever reliable Silvers.

Now, there are only seven of these trains left. Of the 177 trains in service today, the Hitachi fleet only makes up approximately 3% of the entire train fleet.

That's right, only 3%.

And yet, in comparison, every 1 in 3 trains in Sydney is not air-conditioned.

So, why is it that Melburnians feel the need to whine and complain when a Silver turns up to run their service? It's only 3% of the entire train fleet. Are we that uptight and stuck up that we cannot bear to travel without air-conditioning for what would be a relatively short moment of our day?

Despite their lack of air-conditioning, they are quite reliable and far more reliable than the Austrian-built Siemens trains which have been plagued with braking issues for the past seven years. Far more comfortable than the French-made X'Trapolis trains which have suspension so poor, drivers are reporting lower back injuries as a result.

And come a 40-degree day, the Comeng trains - the workhorse of the suburban fleet - are withdrawn from service as the motor alternators overheat as they are only designed to power the air-conditioners to temperatures of 34-degrees.

So, what's left to do form service? That's right. The Silvers.

Prior to 1981, there was never a train cancelled because of a faulty air-conditioner. And prior to 2002, every train to operate in Melbourne was designed to for our conditions.

 Interior of an Hitachi train.

I also constantly get remarks such as "why aren't these trains scrapped yet?", and "why is this piece of crap still around?". And the answer is always the same, "they're here to take you home and to work and to where ever it is you want to go."

Had we scrapped these seven Silver angels of the train system, that would be 10,000 less people whom are carried on the train network during the morning peak. Take both peaks into account, and that's about 10% of the entire patronage base for an average weekday.

It's quite simple really. They may be old. They may smell a little foul when the brakes are applied hard. They may lack air-conditioning.

But it beats waiting at the station for another 15 minutes in the sun when the train's been cancelled because of a faulty air-conditioner.