This week has probably been one of the worst in a long time (and it's not even over yet).
I'm having family issues. My calisthenics team dissolved. My employees treat me like dirt. I haven't seen my friends in probably three weeks since I'm working 20 hours a week at least to try and support myself.
I don't want sympathy.
I just don't know how to come back out on top.
I'm so angry and upset and hurt that it forms some kind of cloud over my chest, and whenever I try to verbalise it, it becomes an incomprehensible gibberish mess. I think this is a remnant of abuse- I generally refuse to get angry, so when I do it mixes with everything else.
That's okay. I can deal with that.
I just don't understand why all these shitty things keep happening. In the mornings I wonder what hell awaits me and contemplate staying in bed. I can't help but think the problem is me, even though mostly it isn't.
How do you pick yourself up and dust yourself off again when it seems too much?
Sometimes I wish I was someone else. Or just somewhere else.
Sorry for the depressing topic. The high had to end sometime.
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